Evidence-Based Couples Therapy & Relationship Counseling in Virginia
Therapy isn't one-size-fits-all, and I don't treat it that way. The approaches I use are grounded in research, but what matters most is that the work creates something that holds outside of this office.
Most of what we do together is relational. That means paying attention to what happens between you: in the arguments, in the silence after them, in the moments where you're just not finding each other.
Therapy for the Moments That Change Everything
Becoming parents. Navigating pregnancy. Moving into a new chapter together or trying to find each other again after one.
These transitions don't just change your schedule. They change who you are to each other. The strain that shows up isn't a sign that you chose the wrong person. It's a sign that you're both carrying a lot, and that the relationship needs tending too.
That's what this work is for.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT, also called EFT)
Most couples arrive here feeling out of options. They've had the same argument enough times to know how it ends, or they've gone quiet because fighting stopped feeling worth it.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), also called EFT, is the approach I'm most trained in and most passionate about. It's rooted in attachment theory: the idea that as adults, we still need a secure base. Someone we can turn to, lean on, and trust to be there. When that foundation feels shaky, we don't just feel sad about it. We react. We protect ourselves.
The criticism, the pursuit, the withdrawal, the scorekeeping… those behaviors aren't the problem. They're attempts to get the connection back. The painful irony is that they're usually the very things pushing your partner further away.
Underneath most conflict, there's a bid for closeness that isn't landing.
EFCT creates enough safety and structure that you can finally see that pattern, name it, and change it. This isn't about learning to fight better. It's about staying in the argument without losing each other in it.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
We all have parts. The part of you that shuts down when things get hard. The part that goes on the attack before someone can hurt you first. The part that needs to be needed.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a framework for understanding those parts rather than fighting them. Most of us walk into conflict already at war with ourselves. One part wants to reach out, another part says don't bother, a third is bracing for impact. Your partner is doing the same thing. What looks like a fight between two people is often four or five parts all trying to protect their person at the same time.
I bring an IFS lens into our work when it's helpful, which is often. Not because we need to map every part of you, but because understanding why a certain moment sends you into a spiral gives you more choice about what happens next. That kind of self-awareness doesn't just help you in this room. It changes how you show up in the relationship on an ordinary Tuesday.
Gottman-Informed Strategies
Sometimes the most helpful thing in the room is something concrete. A way to start a hard conversation without it blowing up in the first thirty seconds. A framework for the gridlocked issue you've circled for years and never resolved. A skill for recognizing when your partner is reaching out, even when it doesn't look like it.
The Gottman research gives us that. It's practical, evidence-based, and particularly useful when a couple needs to get out of crisis mode and find some solid ground to stand on. I think of it as top-down work: here is a structure, here is a skill, here is something you can actually use this week.
EFCT works differently. It starts from the inside out, with the emotions and attachment needs underneath the conflict. Both have a place in this work, and I move between them based on where you are and what you need.
Bids for connection, validation, learning to fight toward each other instead of at each other. These are the places where Gottman structures show up most in our sessions. Not as a formula, but as a foundation to build from.
Your Questions, Answered:
My Approach & Couples Counseling Information
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It helps, but it's not required. One person being uncertain is normal. We can talk about where you each are on your first call.
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A good friend listens. Therapy slows down the moment, helps you understand what's actually happening beneath the surface, and gives you both a space where neither of you is defending yourself.
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It depends on what you're working on. Some couples come for a focused stretch of 4-6 months. Others stay longer because they want to go deeper. We'll talk about what makes sense for your situation.
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Ideally, we will meet weekly. However, I understand coordinating two people’s schedules, along with my availability, can be complicated. At a minimum, I recommend couples schedule sessions every other week in order to gain traction in the process and begin to see the change you want.
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Yes. Some of the most meaningful work happens before things fall apart. If you're in a transition like pregnancy, new parenthood, or a big life change that's actually an ideal time to come in.
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I work primarily with couples, but I also see individuals who want to understand how their patterns show up in relationships as well as individuals preparing or parenthood or just after.
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It's a 15-minute phone call, no commitment required. You tell me what's going on, I answer any questions you have, and we figure out together whether it feels like a good fit.
